What's To Be Excited About?

On September 15, 2009, the Rangers will take the ice for their first pre-season game, marking the official start of Rangers Hockey 2009-2010. Normally, I would be filled with excitement, enthusiasm, and, of course, a deluded sense of optimism. However, for the first time sixteen years, I do not feel excited, enthusiastic, optimistic, pessimistic, angry, frustrated, jubilant, disappointed, etc. In short, I feel nothing for this team, good or bad. Why? I have several theories. Here goes:

1. “Precedent”:

a. Rule: “A decided case that furnishes a basis for determining later cases involving similar facts or issues.” Black’s Law Dictionary 1195 (7th ed. 1999).

b. Application: Rangers Seasons 1995-1996 to 2008-2009 are “decided case[s] that furnish a basis for determining [the outcome of Rangers Season 2009-2010, which involves] similar facts or issues.”

i. Similar facts: Foolish offseason acquisition of “superstar” players who fail to live up to their promised potential: Theo Fleury, Eric Lindros, Alex Kovalev (it’s not you’re fault L’osha, kick ass in Ottawa), Jaromir Jagr, Martin Rucinsky, Bobby Holik (I’m speechless still), Scott Gomez (will have career year in Montreal, mark my words, and remember where you heard it), Chris Drury (yes, Chris Drury), Wade Redden (shocker he hasn’t worked out), Donald Brashear (Colton Orr= same toughness, younger, and cheaper. Really, Sather? Really?)), Marion Gaborik (trust me).

ii. Similar Issues: Weak defense, no offense, incompetent administration, over-priced beer, the Devils, the Penguins, the Capitals, the Hurricanes, the Blackhawks, the Red Wings.

iii. Prediction: Mediocre season capped by a first round playoff exit. What’s to be excited about?

2. The Draft:

The Rangers have been one of the worst drafting teams during the past fifteen years. I could list a few prominent busts, but I think Hugh Jessiman and Manny Malholtra should suffice. To be sure, the Rangers have had some drafting success in recent years. However, they stubbornly refuse to make room on their roster for these kids. Basically, dump Redden and call up Sanguinetti. In this year’s draft, the Rangers picked up Chris Kreider with the 19th overall pick. Gord Clark, the Rangers director of player personnel, described Kreider as “the fastest kid in the draft; he has Alexander Mogilny speed….this is an elite, elite, athlete, physically and mentally. He’s so fast.” Ok, so the kid is fast. As an aside, I saw Alex Mogilny at Baku once (the old one, not the Palace), and I mistook him for Sergei Brylin (and then I found a million dollars, bad story, I know). Anyway, more on Kreider… Writes Hockey News, “Entering his freshman year at Boston College…..” Wait. Freshman year? College? Holy shit, I’ll be 60 before I see this kid play? They might as well draft unborn Ezekiel (Zeek) Katsenhagen-WolfenKats-Nelsonhagen (will wear a parachute as jersey so that his entire name fits) and unborn Samantha Portman Gindin (1st woman in NHL, mark my words)!

a. Word of Caution: The Rangers signed the highly sought after Hobey Baker Winner (best player in college hockey), Matt Gilroy, to a professional contract this summer. Rumor has it that he’s the next big thing since sliced meatloaf. However, several years ago, the Rangers signed, and gave up on, Mike Mottau, another Hobey Baker winner. Mike Mottau was one of the Devils’ primary defensemen last season. So, Torts, Sather, Dolan…let Gilroy play and don’t prematurely throw in the towel, huh?

So, let’s get this show on the road…. I guess.